I want to go back to school and learn. I want to learn about people. Why people do certain things, say certain things, act a certain way. I love to watch people. I stare and wonder.
Last night I went to Ceour d'alene to see an 80s cover band. Wow! Look at all those people running up to dance to some shitty version of Billy Idol's Rebel Yell! Look at that older version of me one day acting all cute and flirtatious! Look at that nerdy girl with the glasses singing along with the song, but has no idea what the words are! Why does she keep singing along? She's obviously not even close to mouthing any vowels and syllables that would form any type of word. Look at her, she's singing along to the next song...and she STILL doesn't know the words! Weird! She looks like she had braces at one time. Her teeth are perfect, but she holds her mouth as if she still has those metal brackets in her mouth. Maybe she has clear braces on. Oh! She's sitting across from that chick with huge knockers who walked in a while ago. How interesting. Here's this nerdy woman and her nerdy husband having a conversation with the epitome of what would have been the "popular" girl in high school and her "popular" boyfriend. I wonder if Nerdy Girl is just so elated to even be sitting across from her, or if she's wondering, as am I, if Popular Girl's boobs are real. You know I saw you glance down, Nerdy Girl. Oh no, she spotted me staring, shit! Now I'm going to have to find a new subject because she keeps making eye contact with me. Damn it. Ahhh, there's weird dancer girl still dancing with no one as if she's feeling the music all through her body. Yes, the music of the 80s. She looks thin on the bottom, but her boobs combined with the too-short sweater she's wearing gives her a muffin-top effect. She's dancing awfully close with Skinny Girl in a little white tank top and camo pants. Hmmm...I wonder...
The girlfriend of the friend of the guy I came with seems like she's getting a bit drunk, but she's only had two glasses of wine. Maybe she's just a little more personable now that her own girlfriend has arrived. She has this funny obnoxious laugh, and seems to laugh at anything. Like, even if my friend quietly said something across the table that she couldn't have heard, she still guffaws as if he's the life of the party. Huh. I have to go to the bathroom.
There's no paper in my stall! "Excuse me, would you mind terribly helping me out?" I ask my neighbor who's been peeing since I walked in. She drunkenly replies and a handful of paper appears under the stall partition. I give her my thanks and finish my duties (heh, doodies). Oh, and here she appears, Weird Dancer Girl! The girl I've been curiously watching on the dance floor since the band started! Wow, I got my toilet paper from her! I almost feel as if I've encountered a celebrity! Up close and personal!
Ahhh, Nerdy Husband is singing along with Judas Priest and he actually knows the words. Nerdy Husband, you've redeemed yourself, but your wife needs to Google some songs.
I'm noticing a weird trend with these Ceour d'alane-80s-cover-band goers: Not-so-hot guys with playboy-bunny-material girls. WEIRD!
This cute blond walks by and spots her friend, rushes up to him, and they do their little fist bump and jazz hand-ish greeting. And they're so excited to do it! They have such happy expressions on their faces during and afterward! She sits across from him and I wonder; coworker? Old school buddy? I don't have that great of view of her because my friend's friend's head is in the way.
Ohhhh there's the MySpace table! You know they're all taking pictures together for the sole purpose of uploading them to MySpace, or facebook, pick your poison. I'm not judging. I do it too.
Heyooo, looky at Weird Dancer girl and Skinny Camo Pants girl. Looks like they've "found" each other, if you know what I mean. Hee hee! Lesbian PDA in effect! I often see this happen in the clubs (the hardcore PDA, not the lesbianish hardcore PDA), but in a bar? To a cover band? Funny. Awww, Weird Dancer is dipping Skinny Camo Pants girl. How sweet, but it looks like SCP girl is leaning back just a little bit too much for Wasted Weird Dancer g....OHHH she dropped her!! Girls, I'm sorry, but everyone saw that coming.
So now this inebriated old lady has to be escorted out of the bar by our waitress and a police officer, the entire time telling our poor waitress her whole life circumstances. Oh, but the waitress is so sweet, nodding her head and adding her, "M-hmm" and "Ohhh" when appropriate. We want to leave but because we've all had a couple beers, no one wants to risk driving away with cops around, so we wait. Finally, after they tow the old lady's car away and the police drive away, we are free to go and take the long journey back to Spokane.
This, my friends, was a fantastic night.
