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Dave says:
I have a gigantic penis.
Jessica says:
Comparitively?
Dave says:
On an absolute scale.
Dave says:
I try to share the wealth and poke as many as possible.
Dave says:
The problem is, few women can handle my enormous schlong.
Dave says:
I'm currently fending off several lawsuits for domestic violence, all because of my huge noodle.
Dave says:
Yeah, so I've decided it would be inhumanly cruel to continue porking women with my violently large mancicle...
Jessica says:
There are no sex toys adequate for your manhood?
Dave says:
A man such as myself has to content himself with inadequacy out of necessity.
Dave says:
It's a real problem when I go to the zoo...
Dave says:
people keep trying to feed it peanuts.
Dave says:
And I have to say, Ma'am, please...
Dave says:
don't let your children do that.
Dave says:
Sorry, I must be bored or something.
Jessica says:
It's quite alright.
Jessica says:
I"m going to be copying this into a blog when I get the chance.
Dave says:
I've been trying to work on a blog, lately... mostly thinking about it, though.
Dave says:
Not so much actually working on it.
Dave says:
But I'm thinking of taking it up again.
Dave says:
My brother steve is a professional blogger these days.
Dave says:
He's been studying how to make them pay.
Dave says:
And then of course, if you get enough readers, you can very easily get a book deal.
Jessica says:
I would LOVE something like that!
Dave says:
Well it takes about a year of consistently posting interesting reading material, which obviously is a challenge...
Dave says:
but if you're doing a good job, you should be able to make at least a grand a month from advertising after that time.
Jessica says:
Nice.
Dave says:
Yeah, it's worth doing, I think.
Dave says:
I need to stop overthinking my next post and just write it.
Jessica says:
You do.
Dave says:
I would, but it's hard to do with a three-foot-high pile of coiled up penis in your lap.
Jessica says:
Nicely done, sir.