Not Less. Just Different.

Every so often I'm blessed to fall into a deep and profound conversation with my son. They have become few and far between and I was starting to think that maybe I had seen the last of them until tonight. Tonight it happened accidentally by way of trying to convince him that he should wear pajamas to bed instead of the jeans and t-shirt he wore that day (this started around the beginning of school) as well as switching from his fall-weather hoodie to his winter coat. I saw the look on his face and realized exactly what I was asking of him. Adjustments are hard for anyone, but nearly impossible for Elijah. The boy just lost a good pal. He took Emmett for walks around the block every day after school and this week...well, he has gone for a walk around the block every day after school. Now I'm asking him to CHANGE out of his nice warm JEANS into freezing cold PAJAMAS AND wear this BIG HUGE COAT to school EVERY DAY? I offered a compromise. I wasn't going to push the pajamas issue if he started wearing his coat. He asked me if I knew what his dad said about him wearing jeans to bed. I didn't. He says it's weird. 

Temple Grandin has become an inspiration in our household. I've watched the movie three or four times now and referenced it a few times since. Saying goodbye to our dog, Elijah asked about a part in the movie when a horse died and Temple asked where it went. So he wanted to know where Emmett would go. I tried to help the kids cope by telling them the same thing Temple's teacher told her. To try to remember Emmett when he was alive. We're still working on that. We're still sad.

I had tried to explain to Elijah that most people wear pajamas to bed. It's not weird that he doesn't, but different. Guess what he said back to me? "Sometimes I like being different. Just like...ahhh (pounding his head) what is it?" The lightbulb went off in my head. Temple Grandin? "Yeah, just like Temple Grandin. She was different." Different, but not less. That phrase was repeated a few times during the movie and one of the main things that spoke to me. Different, but not less. So I hugged him and kissed him and told him that I love him for being different. That I'm proud of him for being different, and if different means he wears jeans to bed, then go ahead.

He almost changed his clothes for me just to make me happy. Almost!